On my last blog IRONPANTS, I wrote:

I love being alone, perhaps due to the independent nature of my parents. Growing up, my dad was a runner and my mom suffered from clinical depression. He spent my youth running away from her physically, and she spent my youth running away from him mentally. It’s no surprise that I crave solitude.

More than a year later, I don’t think I really want this anymore. There’s a difference between naturally quiet (which I am), and being fearful of embracing the world (which I am). I don’t want to be the latter. (more…)

Writing can be loathsome work. It’s a lonely profession. Everyone else thinks they can do it. And you’re constantly questioning yourself. There’s no test to pass. A computer program knows if his code works. I doctor knows if his patient starts feeling better. But a writer, well, a writer usually has no clue if his writing is a hit or a miss. Most of the time it seems like a big crapshoot.

But I like the creativity, which is why I do it. I like coming up with combinations of words that never before existed. Still, I constantly doubt myself. I question if what I wrote couldn’t be better. I even question if I have the qualifications to even be a writer. (more…)

We all have them. Nobody likes to talk about them, but we do. I’m not talking about fears like “I’m afraid of dying.” I’m talking about fears that affect us in our daily routines. Or if we’re fearful enough, even shape our daily routines so much that they govern our lives. Chris Rock once said that when you meet someone, you meet their representative in the sense that people push their quirks, idiosyncracies, faults and flaws below the surface so as to appear “normal”; to represent themself in a positive light. It’s like cleaning your house when company comes. It’s never that clean, but you want to give the impression that it is.

I decided it’s time to start conquering these fears. Some of them affect my relationship (more…)